Posted by: In: Jennifer's Story 03 Jun 2015 Comments: 0

On August 16th, I went into the hospital for what I thought was a routine mammogram but left scared and shaken when the radiologist told me the lump was abnormal and needed to be taken care of ASAP.

On August 19th, my heart sank into my stomach when my family Dr told me the lump in my breast was indicative of cancer.

So the past 2 months have been a battery of tests…wait for results…more tests… It has finally been confirmed it is breast cancer and now on Friday, I will have a “partial mastectomy”/ “Lumpectomy” or what I call “Downsizing.”  Lymph Nodes will also be removed to determine if it has hit there too.

After that (4-6 weeks) I should know what the diagnosis is: If it has harpooned any other organs and what the treatment is going to be.

Bring it on – I’m ready….

The first two weeks, I needed a straight jacket.  Not knowing is the worst place to be.  I couldn’t stop thinking about it, would cry every few moments and was convinced every ache/pain I’ve had in the past 6 months meant I had cancer in that area.  By the end of the first two weeks, I was convinced I had bone, pancreatic, lung, throat cancer and a brain tumour.  I was mentally digging my grave.

With the incredible support from my friends, work and family (more on them later,) a few alcohol infused moments and my no nonsense surgeon; I seem to be taking this quite well.  It isn’t any different from breaking a leg or having pneumonia…You do what needs to be done to fix it.

Now I am not one to turn all “Ra Ra Pink Ribbon” – You know the types: They are little miss rays of sunshine who run every single relay/marathon and buy pink fleece sweaters, tool kits, water bottles, gym bags because they are convinced it’s going to make a difference; but many of the companies that manufacture and/or sell these items take a much larger cut than what is actually donated to breast cancer research.  AND beware of the items that say “proceeds will be donated towards breast cancer awareness”  ????  Think we are already aware breast cancer exists – put the money towards the hospitals supporting patients or treatments in your area.

No, if I turn into that, please take me into the pool and hold my head under water until the bubbles stop coming up.

Instead, I am going to survive cancer like a Rock Star.   That involves being cool, edgy, doing a few outrageous and controversial things and having a “great personal soundtrack.”   So as I told my Cuzie this morning, “Please don’t wear pink on Friday but wear your Alice Cooper concert shirt and have a steak because I will be fasting from midnight on….”

Initial lessons learned:

  1. Check your boobs and if you don’t want to do it; pick up a guy and have him do it for you.
  2. An MRI for your boobs – Feels like they are low hanging fruit.
  3. Always take a friend with you to Dr app’ts.  Not only can they help take notes, ask questions…It’s usually a good excuse to go for a drink after.
  4. No matter how many times you go to the hospital, they never offer you valet parking.
  5. Don’t have discussions about faith and religion with your father after a few drinks.
  6. Don’t research anything on the internet – unless you want to make yourself totally crazy.
  7. A lot of people, although with good intentions, seem to think they know what is best for your own physical and mental health.  Only YOU know what is best for you.
  8. Things can change in a blink of an eye and life throws curve balls.  Appreciate what you have, your health, your family and friends and live with no regrets.

This blog may not provide inspiration.  It may insult some people.  It may even bore the shit out of anyone who decides to read it but I also hope it will put a smile on at least one person’s face at some point.

Jennifer's laugh.

Jennifer’s laugh.

from: Hooter and a Half